Malcolm's HOBY letter 2004

Leadership is demonstrated by action, not necessarily words. It’s hard for me to accept the title of “leader” when I consider that I never set out to become one. Each day, I wake up with the same goal: to give 100 percent to each and everything I do in hopes that I will go to college and become a better person while doing so. If as a result, I also find myself feeling happy and well liked, then great. If not, then I can accept that because I know that success is not always about feeling happy or being the most popular.

I grew up in urban San Diego and am the fourth of my biological mother’s eleven children. My biological mother suffers from a crack cocaine addiction. I was never close to my biological father, as he suffers from drug addiction and has been in and out of prison most of my life. We relied on AFDC and my step-father for financial resources. Thus, each time he went back to prison, we would eventually find ourselves homeless. Regardless, despite the exposure to abuse, neglect, violence and poverty, I remember my childhood as being good. When you do not know that life exists any other way, you do not necessarily think it is good or bad, it just is.

In second grade, my siblings and I were placed into foster care following an incident in which my mother stabbed my brother in the leg. Reunification was attempted, but never successful, as my mother was either unwilling or incapable of abstaining from crack cocaine. Because there were many of us, I was only placed with one of my siblings, my older brother Mychael.

We met my adoptive mother shortly after being placed into foster care. She was assigned to be our mentor and over the next two years, we spent many hours with her. Consequently, when my brother was removed from our last foster placement, she decided that she wanted to adopt him. Because she was young and single, she did not adopt me right away, but promised to eventually do so. The fact that I am a student at St. Joe indicates that she kept her promise and adopted me.

Since then, my mother has helped me to pursue educational and athletic success. In the process, I am learning about myself. Additionally, because my mother is a thirty year old White woman, it has been a challenge to deal with the questions and inquiries of others. Fortunately, we are comfortable in our roles and have a lot of family support. In any event, my mother has always told me that we are teaching others about acceptance and tolerance and that in the long run, I will be better for having learned it first hand. I believe her. Last year, my brother became the first person in my biological family to graduate from high school. He gives me hope that I will one day reach my goal of attending college, as he entered Purdue University this fall.

I often feel that I work much harder than my peers in terms of school work. Each day, I listen to them talk about the television shows they watched the night before or the new video games they played. I sit quietly knowing that I spent the previous evening doing homework from the time I got home until the time I went to bed around eleven. I sit in class and notice that most of my peers are distracted or not interested in the topics that the teachers present.

My mom went to parent/teacher conferences the other day and said that my teachers positively remarked on how I always seem so attentive and ask many questions. I thought it was a little strange that they would see this as positive when all along I have been thinking that the other kids just obviously know the information already. I am making up for lost time and am not interested in wasting time. I have enough challenges ahead of me. Not to mention, I know what it is like to not know what the next day will bring and to feel hopeless. There is great hope in education and I know that I am lucky to have been given this “second chance” opportunity. Many of my old friends will never be so fortunate.

When I received notice to write about my plan for leadership, I told my mom that I did not have one and considered not submitting as essay. However, my mom told me that I should write about my life and that my life is an example of leadership. She said that real leaders know that leadership often involves walking a lonely path and despite feeling nervous at times, they move forward and are committed to their goals.

As far as my effect on St. Joe goes, I can only say that nothing is going to get between me and my goal of creating a life better than the one I originally lived. I understand that everyone is dealt a different hand and that we as individuals have the power to decide how to play it. If my commitment to education, athletics and civic responsibility has a positive influence on my peers, then that makes me feel great. But, feeling great will never be the sole reason for my efforts, as sometimes it is just about doing the right thing.