Normal is over-rated and not nearly as interesting or fun. The story of how a young, single White girl and two Black teenagers redefine the traditional family model and become the All-American Family.
7.06.2011
It's Been Too Long!
First off, let me say thanks for the emails, and yes, we're still alive! It's been a super busy last year. I've actually been trying to get some of my own things going after many years of only focussing on Mychael and Malcolm. All parents know what that's like. It's been a tough couple years for Mychael and Malcolm. They have struggled with figuring out what they want to do with their lives. I think that's normal for all young adults. However, I think it's even more difficult for people who were older when they were adopted. Early adulthood is all about figuring out who you are and what you want to do with your life. I think that a lot of older adoptees get stuck on that "who you are" part.
That said, I believe that they are finally finding peace with themselves and their future paths seem to be opening up for them. Frankly, I'm still looking for my future path, so I'm not all that concerned that they have been, too. In the coming months, I'm going to post some direct correspondence from them. I think it's time for them to give their side of the story. In fact, I think it would be therapeutic to do so.
In terms of the book, I have yet to finish it. I've been waiting for that "happily ever after" ending. (You know what I mean, the final chapter that explains how everything went perfect and we ended up exactly where we thought we would.) Then one day recently I realized that I'm not even sure what that ending looks like. Is it the ending in which both my sons are college graduates, financially established and professionally employed? Is it when my sons are happy, content, in good relationships and in general at peace with themselves? Can you have all those things at once (I know this biological child hasn't)? I finally decided that "happily ever after" really means "okay with how things are going and optimistic about the future". In that case, I guess we're there.
That said, I guess I'll be wrapping up the book (finally). I decided that I'll end the book by interviewing my kids. Again, therapeutic for them and informative and helpful to anyone, especially families, fortunate enough to be in the presence of an adopted child or adult. Anyone have something they'd like to ask? Email me or leave a note on the blog, and I'll be sure to include it. I hope all of you amazing people are still being the incredibly wonderful humans that you are. I'm so thankful for adoptive families. Every time I meet an adoptee or adopter, I feel such a strong bond. I feel connected in a way that I simply cannot have with biological families. I had that experience lately and it reminded me how much I treasure adoptive families. Because seriously, we are the best...so normal!
This blog has been created in hopes of encouraging others to consider adopting older children. We hope that by getting to know us, you'll feel less intimidated about starting your own super, incredible, funky, awesome family. We might look unique, but we're just like every other family. In fact, if you ask us, we'll tell you that we're BETTER than other families! Get to know us and you'll see that we're as real as it gets.
Links about adoption can be found on this blog. However, if you have questions that you'd like to ask us, please feel free to do so.
Team Thompson is just like every other family--every other superior family, that is :). Don't let pigmentation or age fool you. A strong family requires only one thing: committment.
Before I became an adoptive parent, I, too, would look at adoptive families and think, "How does that work?" The answer: Like any other family! It's pretty simple, I don't expect anything from my kids that I don't simultaneously expect from myself. We're in this together--we're a Team. Though my brother coined the phrase "Team Thompson", it couldn't have fit us any better.
We've been successful because we work as a team. We're honest with each other and we're honest about how people pereceive us. I have the same expectations for my kids that my parents had for me, so when they complain about something, I just say, "I feel your pain--I used to feel the same way." Sure, we started in different places, but we're going in the same direction and in the end, that's all that matters.
Diversity and having different experiences only enhances us as a family--only makes us stronger and more beautiful. The idea that I am any less my kids' Mother because I'm younger than "normal" (which is so boring anyway), or have less pigment in my skin is a myth based on social insecurities. I am confident in my role and have always expected them to feel the same way.
As parents, we decide how our children will feel about us. It's a powerful role that I have never taken lightly. If anything, I have grown so much as a person since becoming the Mother of Mychael and Malcolm. I am much more confident and well rounded now than I was ten years ago. Would I have been able to grow this much had I given birth to children? I highly doubt it. Besides, had I done that, I wouldn't have Mychael and Malcolm and I cannot imagine a life without them.
When I first adopted Mychael and Malcolm, people would say things like, "Your kids must be so thankful for you," or "The boys must be so appreciative." Yeah right! Are your teenagers thankful for you? If so, what's wrong with them? What teenagers are thankful for their parents? Mychael and Malcolm were no exception! I don't know about your family, but we're normal!
Adoption Links (as well as some of our own personal favorites)
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